In running, like life, it is important to operate with a healthy dose of confidence in everything that you do. The problems arise when that necessary confidence gets mixed with too much cockiness. In my opinion, a healthy bit of cockiness isn't always a bad thing. When I step on the line to race, and I look over at my competitors, I always think I can beat them (unless they weigh 110 pounds and hail from Eldoret). I was not always so cocky when it comes to running, but in the past several months as I have entered the road racing scene, where seed times and past performances are not so well known, I find myself looking at all runners on the line with me and expecting to beat them. I also have heightened expectations for myself as I continue to chase truly elite times. It's ok to be cocky - and most elite athletes are - so long as you are prepared to back up that cockiness with preparation.
This Sunday at the Philadelphia Half Marathon, I just simply wasn't ready to back it up.
My training leading up to the race was solid, but there just wasn't enough of it. The delayed start to serious training caused by the long recovery from the USA Half and the problems with varicose veins that affected me in August left me a little bit behind in terms of half marathon fitness. Without sufficient long and tempo runs under my belt, my body was ready to shut down right around 10k - not good when the race is double that distance.
The race started out well enough. The pack of East Africans jetted off the line, leaving the Americans to sort themselves out. I found myself in an unenviable position of not really having anyone to run with. There was a group of runners on sub 1:05 pace, myself and another runner running 1:06 pace, and then a wide gap back to the runners running 1:08 pace. Early in the race, I decided the best opportunity to run well would be to try and stick on 1:06 pace with my fellow runner as long as I could. The first mile was hit right at 5:00 and I still felt fairly good, but I could tell it was unlikely that I could sustain 5 flat pace the whole race. I tried to back off a little to the 5:05-5:10's I was shooting for, but the runner I was with did not back off and chased down the next group ahead. That left me alone at a very early stage in the race and put me in chase mode far earlier than I had hoped. I maintained a gap with the group ahead of me and came through 3 miles in 14:55. It was at this point that I began to feel the effects of running alone as I was not able to relax and get comfortable in a bigger group and just coast. I kept things together reasonably well through 5 miles in 25:20 and 10K in 31:44, but the wheels were off at this point as I hit some inclines in Center City Philadelphia and University City.
My race ended for all intents and purposes when I hit the steep incline near Drexel University. I felt like I was crawling up this interminable hill. The 8th mile passed in 5:35 for me - essentially a crawl after previously running 5:00-5:15 pace. The 9th mile was a little better as I coasted downhill past the zoo. The 10th mile, however, was the real kicker. I managed an abysmal 5:40 as I climed through Fairmount Park. At this point, I did not really see the point of finishing the race, but dropping out of races is something I refuse to do so long as I am not injured. To me, dropping out is a true sign of quitting on yourself.
Things rebounded slightly as I hit the final 3 miles along the river. I managed to bring the pace back down to 5:15-5:20 as the hills were finally over. I made a pact with myself that I would pass as many people as I could before the finish. If there is one thing I hate more than losing, it is losing to people I know I should never lose to. It may sound arrogant to say, but I expect too much from myself to accept losing to 1:09 runners when I know my ability lies in the 1:06-1:07 range. The anger I felt about losing lit a little fire under me and I passed 3 or 4 runners before the finish in a final disappointing time of 1:09:21.
What did I learn from this race? Well, for one, I learned that you can't fake it in a half marathon. I am certainly very fit as I was able to run close to 5:00 pace for close to 5 miles, but being fit for 5 miles is nowhere near the same as being fit for a half marathon. I do believe I was on the right track to running a good half marathon this season, but was just a few weeks and a few long tempo runs away from being really ready to race a half marathon. I also learned I can't just step on a starting line and expect to beat everyone even though I have the ability to be highly competitive on the elite road racing scene. There are simply people out there who are faster than me, especially when I am not on my A-game.
Overall, I can't be too displeased with the result of the race. I got an idea of where my current level of fitness is, got a hard effort in which will only help me improve, and fought hard to the finish. I am going to take a somewhat easy week to let my body bounce back a little bit from the race, and then get right back to training at a high level. One good thing about only having 6 weeks of good training for this race is that my body won't need a very long time to rest before I can return to hard runs and workouts. My next big race will be the Virginia Beach Marathon in March and I am very excited to try some new workouts as I get ready for another marathon.
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